


Overrated Treasures and Underrated Pleasures

by thismagichour



Series: Sometimes I Still Feel The Bruise: critrole rsweek 2018 [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-24 22:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14963505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thismagichour/pseuds/thismagichour
Summary: Second piece for critrole rsweek! Vax, after breaking up with Gilmore, learns he can actually have everything he wants. Dialogue heavy fic with a lazy Seattle-esque modern setting, and like, so many groupchat texts.





	Overrated Treasures and Underrated Pleasures

**Author's Note:**

> I'll have you know, I've banged out both of these rsweek fics in ONE DAY, when my previous TMN fics took literal months. No beta, we die like men, and know how coherent this even is, because when you're turning out fics this fast, proofreading kind of falls by the wayside!!! Every breath is an adventure!!!! Title from "I'm Glad There Is You" by Ella Fitzgerald

“Vax, I don’t understand why you don’t just ask him out,” Pike says, as they leave Gilmore’s Glorious Goods. 

“He’s too chicken,” Vex says, elbowing him in the side.

“He just doesn’t have the same way with the ladies as some of us,” Grog says, stroking his beard grandly.

“Gilmore isn’t a lady, Grog,” Keyleth says, taking Vax’s hand and squeezing it.

“Grog actually has a point here,” Scanlan chimes in, “men are pathetically easy to seduce. Women are the more dangerous and beautiful game,” he winks in Pike’s direction, who only raises her eyebrows at him.

“Isn’t the most dangerous game hunting people? Like, to murder them?” She says. 

“Is it? I’ve never seen it,” Scanlan says.

“Read it, you mean,” Vex says, rolling her eyes.

“That too,” Scanlan says.

“Far be it from me to willingly agree with Scanlan,” Vex says, “but men are pathetically easy to seduce. Isn’t that right, darling?” She says, curling her arm around Percy.

“Don’t drag me into this,” Percy says, not looking up from his phone. Vex picks it out of his fingers. Percy raises his gaze to her faux pouting face and squints at her. “Yes, men, the whole lot of us, just walking around with our tongues hanging out of our mouths, waiting for someone to touch our private parts. Happy?” Vex grins widely and hands him back his phone.

“A lot of sarcasm from a guy who literally tripped over his own feet when Vex asked him out,” Scanlan says.

“And a guy who calls ‘em “private parts,”” Grog says.

“The point is, Vax,” Pike says, “you should just ask him out. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“He could laugh,” Vex says.

“He could punch him!” Grog says.

“He could not remember Vax’s name,” Scanlan says.

“He may not be interested in polyamory,” Percy says.

“He might not be gay,” Keyleth says.

“Oh, he is _definitely_ gay,” Vex says.

“I guess those things could happen, but I don’t think they will,” Pike says. “It’s pretty clear he’s interested. He lights up every time you walk in. He has a nickname for you and everything.”

“Because he doesn’t remember Vax’s name,” Scanlan says. Pike elbows him.

“Go on, dear brother, do tell us why you haven’t asked Gilmore out yet,” Vex drawls.

“Oh, am I a part of this conversation? You were doing so well without me,” Vax says, shoving his free hand deeper into his hoodie pocket. 

They all approach Percy’s enormous flat, continuing to bicker about Gilmore the whole way. Vax stays quiet. Pike, Grog, and Scanlan all turn off for their apartment in the less expensive part of town, and Keyleth shyly waves goodbye as she catches a Lyft to her dad’s place. Vax and Vex have been living here since they found out that their “full ride scholarships” were actually just Syldor paying off the university. They couldn’t afford the dorms and they refused to take another dime from their father, and thus Percy insisted they move in with him and his sister.

“The upside of millions of dollars of blood money,” Percy had said, dryly.

Vax begs off hanging out with the two lovebirds any longer, and flops facedown onto his bed. _Don’t be dramatic, Vax’ildan,_ Gilmore’s voice says in his head, and he groans. It’s all very well and good for the group to tease him, but about this, about _Shaun_ , is too much. He would love to talk to Gilmore, he really would, but he _can’t_. Because the rest of them don’t have any idea that he secretly dated Gilmore for months. Sort of. They had been a strictly friends with benefits relationship (well, at least that’s what he told GIlmore, Sarenrae knows he was in too deep from the beginning), up until he discovered that maybe his feelings towards Keyleth weren’t going away. As soon as he realized, he knew it wasn’t fair to him or Gilmore, and he broke it off. He still remembers the look on Gilmore’s face. He thinks about it, often. So when Keyleth mentioned offhand to him that she doesn’t really “do monogamy,” _I mean, Vax, you’ve met my parents, you guys make fun of the whole hippie commune thing but it’s a stereotype for a reason, I guess,_ it occurs to him that he could have had everything he wanted, and he fucked it up entirely. He would love nothing more than to saunter into Gilmore’s shop and ask him out, but he knows that he has absolutely no right to do that. He’d deserve it if Gilmore just incinerated him where he stood for asking.

His phone lights up with a message to the SHITS group chat. He ignores it for a moment, but it keeps buzzing. With a sigh, he flips onto his back and holds his phone precariously over his face.

**Scanman:** hey, if vax doesnt ask out gilmore does that make him fair game  
**Antlers <3:** I didn’t know you were interested in Shaun, Scanlan.  
**Scanman:** whats not to like? hot AND rich! it would be a fun time while I wait for the love of my life to come around  
**Pickle:** very nice, Scanlan.  
**Scanman:** who said I was talking about you  
**Scanman:** just kidding obviously im talking about you  
**Scanman:** they dont call you the everlight for nothing  
**Antlers <3:** Isn’t Sarenrae the Everlight?  
**Scanman:** its because you’re EVER the LIGHT of my life  
**Scanman:** wait is that true  
**Scanman:** WAIT IS SARENRAE THE EVERLIGHT  
**Stubby:** You all are distracting me from fucking my boyfriend right now  
**Freddie:** V e x ‘ a h l i a  
**Big Man:** r u having sex rn ???  
**Antlers <3:** Why are you texting?! Percy, we talked about this!  
**Stubby:** Anyway I just wanted to say that I know you’re reading this Vax and if you don’t ask Gilmore out I will do it for you  
**Stubby:** And then let Scanlan sing him a song about your hair or some embarrassing shit  
**Scanman:** previous plan redacted thats way funnier than my idea  
**Stringbean (me):** you wouldn’t dare  
**Scanman:** i would  
**Stubby:** Watch me brother  
**Scanman:** [hulk hogan voice] WATCH ME BROTHER  
**Stubby:** Shut the fuck up Scanlan  
**Scanman:** no one appreciates how funyn I am  
**Scanman:** funyn  
**Scanman:** FUNNY  
**Stubby:** funyn  
**Big Man:** funyn  
**Freddie:** I could go for some funyns right now.  
**Scanman:** SHUT UP YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT  
**Pickle:** it’s pretty funyn, Scanlan  
**Scanman:** et tu pike

Vax mutes the chat. He swipes closed the hundred of apps he had open on his phone (yes, he had been stalking Gilmore’s facebook…and twitter and instagram, but no one needs to know that), and takes a deep breath. He opens up his texts again (ignoring the latest message from the groupchat), and stares at Gilmore’s name. The last text between them had been a message Gilmore had sent, about two months ago, that just said “See you soon? ;).” Vax had gone over the night of that message to break it off with him. Vax opens the thread, starts to type, and closes the thread again. He presses his phone against his forehead, and opens the thread again. Closes it. After another half dozen or so tries, Vax finally ends up with this: “hey Shaun, was just wondering if we could meet up and talk sometime? maybe get coffee?” The message says that it’s read almost immediately, but Gilmore doesn’t respond. Vax waits a minute, but no bubble pops up to indicate that Gilmore is trying to respond. Eventually, Vax just turns the phone off and lobs it as far away from himself as possible without actually breaking the damn thing. He doesn’t sleep much that night.

When he wakes, groggy, exhausted, he immediately scrambles for his phone and turns it on with shaking hands. He has another 304 messages from the group chat, gods, another half dozen from Vex’ahlia asking if he’s dead and if she can have those boots that she likes so much if he is, and one from Gilmore just says “of course, my bird. name the time.”

He shows up to the Starbucks near Gilmore’s shop a solid forty five minutes early. He scopes out the best seat in the place, making sure he has a good view out the window and his back isn’t turned towards too many tables. It’s been a while since he’s been on the street, but old habits. He orders himself a coffee, drinks it too quickly, and orders another before he thinks better of it and tosses it directly into the trash. He buys the largest water bottle he can while the cashier eyes him strangely.

“Got a date,” he says, with a slight smile, “and I don’t want to be too jittery when he gets here, you know?” The cashier smiles hesitantly back at him.

“Good luck,” she says. Vax nods at her, and sits back at his table, rubbing his sweaty palms off on his jeans. He’d worn the very skinny ones that Gilmore had complimented once when Vax was getting dressed to go home. _I should make some cliche comment about your jeans and my floor, but honestly, those are good looking jeans,_ he’d said. Vax looks at his phone. Only another thirty five minutes to go.

“There’s my bird,” Gilmore says, as brightly as always. He’s early. He’s really early. Vax didn’t have time to prepare. This was a mistake. Gilmore’s not broken up about Vax at all, and it was honestly stupid to think otherwise. Gilmore’s beautiful, and funny, and talented, and he probably has some new twink and is about to laugh in Vax’s face. Gilmore is wearing an incredible purple silk shirt, just a few buttons undone suggestively, and slacks that probably cost more than Vax’s tuition, and Vax showed up in jeans and a sweater with holes in the thumbs. _Pathetic, Vax’ildan._

“Shaun,” Vax finally says, pulling himself together. “You came.”

“Which time?” Gilmore says. Vax ducks his chin, but there’s no covering that he flushes straight to the tips of his pointed ears.

“Don’t be cruel to me,” Vax says.

“What?” Gilmore says, innocently, “I just love the way you blush, my bird.” He reaches out a hand to bounce a fingertip off of Vax’s ear. Vax grabs his wrist as he pulls back.

“Shaun,” Vax says, seriously. GIlmore’s smile fades. Vax lets go of his wrist. GIlmore shakes himself, smiles again.

“Let me just order a coffee, my dear Vax’ildan,” Gilmore says, turning away from him. Vax stares at his back the whole time Gilmore’s at the counter. He thought that the flirting GIlmore had done in the months since their breakup had just been for the benefit of their friends, so no one suspected anything had changed between them. Vax wasn’t prepared for GIlmore at his full power when they were alone. When Gilmore turns back to him, the smile is back in even brighter force.

“So what can I do for you, Vax’ildan? Trying to wheedle another sponsor deal?” Gilmore says, sipping his tea.

“Not exactly,” Vax says, and takes a deep breath. “Not at all, actually.”

“Go on, then,” Gilmore says when the silence goes on too long.

“I fucked up,” Vax says bluntly. “I thought, because of Keyleth, because of the nature of relationship, because I’m very stupid, because of a hundred reasons, that I had to give you up. I don’t want to give you up. I want to give you everything. I have acted completely unforgivably to you, and I understand if you tell me to fuck off, but I want to give this another shot. A real shot this time, not just me pretending that I don’t have feelings for you so I can get laid.” Gilmore’s face has gone completely blank. Vax is reminded of the last major conversation they had, when Gilmore had looked, very briefly, like he was going to cry, before pulling himself together. Vax didn’t want to be the cause of that ever again.

“Vax’ildan,” Gilmore says, “I know perfectly well you are still dating that nice girl, and if you think for a second I’m going to be your secret just because you’re beautiful—”

“No!” Vax says, emphatically. “I am still dating Keyleth. And _she_ is dating our friend Kashaw. Do you understand what I’m saying?” Gilmore stares at him. Vax stares back, trying to communicate what he’s trying to say silently. _You have such expressive eyes, Vax’ildan. I can always tell what you’re not saying,_ the ghost of Gilmore past says in his head.

“You two have an arrangement,” Gilmore says, “but what if we don’t share well?”

“Then I suppose this won’t work out between us,” Vax says, his voice lighter than he feels, “but I really want it to, Shaun. I love Keyleth, I do. And I think that I could love you, if you would let me.”

“Oh, thank gods,” Gilmore says, and throws himself across the table, catching Vax’s lips in a fierce kiss. In his shock, Vax’s eyes catch the cashier frantically giving him a thumbs up behind Gilmore’s head.

**Stubby:** Hey has anyone seen Vax? He isn’t answering his phone again and I’m actually a little worried  
**Pickle:** he’s not with us!  
**Freddie:** He’s not at the library, but if I see him here, I will take him to the hospital immediately, because surely he’s hit his head very hard  
**Scanman:** lmao  
**Stubby:** Thanks so much for the help everyone  
**Antlers <3:** He’s fine!  
**Stubby:** Is he with you Keyleth?  
**Antlers <3:** Um, no, but I have heard from him recently, and he told me he was turning his phone off for a bit?  
**Stubby:** Why would he do that?  
**Antlers <3:** I’m not supposed to say?  
**Scanman:** HOLY SHIT  
**Stubby:** Holy shit  
**Pickle:** oh  
**Freddie:** oh dear  
**Big Man:** what idgi  
**Scanman:** VAX IS FUCKING GILMORE RIGHT NOW ISNT HE  
**Antlers <3:** I didn’t say that!  
**Stubby:** Oh my god he totally is  
**Big Man:** LOL  
**Freddie:** Dear lord, I thought he’d never do it.  
**Pickle:** good for him!  
**Stringbean (me):** thank you, pickle. shaun says hello, by the way, everyone  
**Scanman:** asjkdfslasdhfd  
**Stubby:** VAX!!!!! Tell me everything!!!!!!  
**Antlers <3:** Hi, Gilmore! <33333  
**Scanman:** i cant believe vax finally realized he has two hands  
**Freddie:** Godspeed, sir.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me @calebwidogasts on tumblr where you can find me exaggeratedly sobbing like Liam O'Brien seven days a week


End file.
